Shame is that ugly pointing finger that says:
You are not enough
Remember that secret you keep? If people knew about that you wouldn't be so confident.
Your father left you
Your husband cheated on you
You can't help others; your own children don't respect you.
You don't deserve good breaks; they are for good people and you are not good.
You need to work hard to be excepted.
Who do you think you are?
Shame does not tell us what we have done wrong. Guilt does that perfectly. Shame tells us that we are wrong, that there is no hope for us and that with our heads down we should hide from the world and living altogether.
Shame likes to record our failings. Then time after time unloads the whole ammunition leaving us defeated. It's right there that we are very prone to sink into long self pity periods, depression, overeating, starving, anger, loneliness, isolation and the biggest of all- feeling worthless, that one, sticks like clay and paralyses us.
How do we fight shame then?
Well, shame loves to be isolated. It grows in the dark and its well protected by fake smiles and many trying to be 'better' acts. Shame hates to be exposed! And that we must do in order to fight it right at the core. Expose it! Share with a trusted friend, spouse, family member your shame talk, all those shame thoughts. Start sharing with God first if you are not ready to open your heart to anyone just yet.
I can tell you in full assurance that when I do that I find that the magic word 'me too' from my friends consoles me in such a way that tons of weight fall off my shoulders and a freer heart rejoices inside my chest.
Dear brave friend, shame will not listen to our 'sorry', no even one of our pleas. Shame does not have any 'mercy' for us. Shame will not just leave us alone if we ignore it long enough. No, shame doesn't care about our sorrys, but it does run away all the time we uncover it. So let's start today, let's start now to expose shame. Lets do it little by little until we know that the people we are sharing with are handling our hearts in love and trust.
How is shame effecting your life? Who is someone you can share with your 'worthless' thoughts and talk you have about/with yourself?