Close your eyes, hug your knees and think, pass all the surface layers that give pat answers and get into the core of your heart. Stand there and ask a few questions. What is your biggest fear? What is something that if you departed from this life right now you would feel sorry for not accomplishing, doing or saying?
I will tell you mine. My biggest fear is that at the end, my life amounts to nothing.....a meaningless sort of life. My biggest regret would be wasting my time worrying about stuff that didn’t matter and my one desire would be to say to my husband and children that ‘I love them’ more than my life. And if I had to add one more thing into the pile it will be me feeling frustrated with myself for hesitating to take a step or two into a direction that I felt was from God, but feared of what others would say or think and never stepped out. Sad, I know... still the truth.
I don’t know what your biggest fears and wishes are, but I know some of them would be in the line of the person you want to become and the real people you want to impress, investing time with people that you want to know that you love them and to make a difference.
I like to ask myself this kind of deep questions time after time so that my routine that looks like a hamster wheel will stop circling around and focus on the things that matter.
Right now, am I doing work- activities - investing my time in things that later I will regret or be glad about? Our deepest fear and wishes need to be noticed and processed because they are the indication of where our lives are at.
Right now I am doing things I know I should do. It might not look much to the people peering from the outside, but it matters to me. Looking after my family, writing, connect with people that help me become more the person I want to be and investing in people’s lives is where I am at.
It has not been always like this, but recently I have become more and more determined to live my life doing stuff that later I would love and not regret.
If my biggest wishes are for my husband and my kids to know that they are loved and have my attention, then a good amount of my time should go on that.
If my deepest fear is living a meaningless life than I would want to invest time in areas where I believe God has gifted me and use that ability to make other peoples lives better.
If I looked back in my life, I am sure to see that many times I have left fear from what others will think or do if I take a certain direction control me, so now I am investing time into building my character so that when I face difficulties and resistance I know how to stand up for what I believe with grace and understanding.
What I want to achieve with this blog post is to make us first and foremost to stop and think. Life is not as easy as to be sorted by a couple of decisions, but it’s not as complicated as we make it also.
If we start now, right now with one thing, yes, just one thing that we fear, worry, a desire that we want to see different - then that is a huge progress in the right direction. How?
If quality time with our loved ones is a desire to accomplish, then let’s put aside our phones for one hour during dinner time or a few hours during the weekends so that we can listen and spend time with them who matter most to us.
If we are doing work that is necessary but not what we really love to do for the rest of our lives then let’s pray and spend a few hours in the week reaching for ways to make that dream come true.
If we feel we worry way too much about what others think of us if we have what I call the ‘people pleasing disease’ then what we really need to do is to start and build good and genuine friendships that love us, accept us and help us become the people God made us. Friends who we can say ‘no’ and still be friends.
The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for. Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“What is the chief end of man? - “Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.” The Westminister Shorter Catechism
“Real spiritual friendship is eagerly helping one another know, serve, love, and resemble God in deeper and deeper ways.” Timothy Keller
What is one step that you are thinking and will make today towards the future you want to see?