I thought it will be easy to do this mothering thing as the years' pass and you my children grow more and more with each day. But like with many other things in life I am wrong.
Today I dropped you at your new school. We talked happily until we entered the playground then your eyes started to well up. No familiar faces to smile, not friends to find in the vast crowd, no one to welcome you in. I tried my very best to be strong and encourage you for that is what mammas do, but you surprised me with your courage again. With tears still rolling on your cheeks, you went inside like a brave soldier facing his opponent. I could not help it but to be thankful and worried at the same time for the rest of the day. I have known you all your life, still, in moments like that you amaze me and catch me by surprise.
“Mum, I am worried because all the lessons are in French and I understand very little of what has been said,” it was the first sentence you mumbled as soon as you came back home. I know sweetheart, I know- I tried my best to comfort you, soon you will understand the language fluently and I will have to learn it to keep up with you, I force a smile. I then compose myself and continue.
Listen brave one, I don’t understand the depth of your struggle right now, but I am your mamma I will stay and help you all the way through until the struggle is not more. That’s what mammas do.
We can't follow our children to school, but we can certainly lead their hearts to a place of healing.
“Mum, can you stay five more minutes with me because I feel a bit afraid?” Sure my darling, I will stay beside you, let’s read and pray together. So, we read, then we pray and my hand strokes those little hands that are not little anymore. And again I stand surprised like I was in that very first moment I met you. I am your mother! That truth still fascinates me, overwhelms me and scares me at the same time.
Many times I think that surely someone else will do a better job than me with you (I know it’s crazy and silly to think like that), but mums think crazy and silly thoughts all the time, yet I was chosen to be your mamma and I am starting to believe that I am the best at being mum to you. So, I am sticking with your kiddo and you are sticking with me until you are ready to fly the nest. I promise that you can borrow my ears, interrupt the attention of my eyes and have my whole heart, for I am your momma always.
Mamma, yes you-you who are reading these words, allow me to tell you a few things. You were chosen to be your children' mamma, you might feel like you are not great at it or you wish you could be better, but trust me none can do your job. You are the best for your kids, and they are the best for you.
We are growing with each other, they and we are undergoing a transformation of love.
So, today, tomorrow, forever I accept the greatest and the hardest job on earth with pleasure and a thankful heart. I am a mamma
“Motherhood is more than a stage--
it’s a lifelong calling from God.
With it He gives us hearts that love deeply,
hands that serve tirelessly, and vision to see
His blossoming image in the precious ones
entrusted to our care.” St. Therese of Lisieux
Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children ........ Psalm 127 3-5 MSG
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